I love being a mom. I really do. I became a mom at a young age (right before I turned 20) and i was naive in every way. My kids have taught me a lot, and having kids has taught me even more. I understand and love God more, and I'm more grateful for His love and mercy! But some days, like today, I just feel like I need a break.
One thing that deputation taught Caleb and me, is that we are not very good parents. I know there are a lot worse, but we really found out our shortfalls! We have been trying to work on our anger, yelling, and impatience. We really don't believe that a loving household has a place for any of those things, but it's harder to live without them than I ever thought it would be.
With it getting hot, the kids can't play outside for very long. But when they're inside, our space is so limited that they have a hard time figuring out how to get along. And I get frustrated when my only floor is covered in crayons, puzzles, legos, paper bags, and whatever else they got out. I understand kids make messes, but I don't know why that mess has to be on every bed, the kids' floor, and my living room floor. Then they want to watch a movie, play on the computer, and have a snack.
And of course, nobody got that stuff out.
And since everything is out, there's nothing to do.
I love my kids and I thank God for every one of them. But some days it's hard to remember why I love them so much.